Holding On For William
by I'dBeDelighted
Summary: Julia meets William. This story became something completely different than originally intended. It was supposed to be later in the series but immediately led me to the very beginning.


Julia sat at her desk looking out at the sterile room. She could no longer concentrate on the report she was writing. She could no longer concentrate on anything. Her attention turned to the stirrings inside her. She laughed cynically, she, DOCTOR Julia Ogden, was suffering from ' _female hysteria_!' What was she going to do? When did it begin? She thought back to when she first met him and how their relationship had progressed.

xxxxxxx

It was March 12th, 1893, a Sunday. Julia had been working at the morgue exactly one week and this was the first crime scene she had attended on her own. She'd been called to a home where a fourteen year old boy, Clayton Bowles, had been discovered hanging in a tree in the garden. She had arrived just in time to see the back of the detective as he stepped into a carriage. She had hoped to arrive before the detective left but was delayed when she couldn't find a hansom. She found Constable Crabtree, a young, enthusiastic policeman, standing by the body. "Det. Murdoch apologizes for leaving before you arrived Doctor but he has been called away. He will join you later at the morgue." Julia was not too concerned now at missing the detective. She wasn't sure she was ready to meet him yet. She had been told Det. Murdoch was a brilliant but somewhat intense man. He didn't sound like someone she would enjoy working with. The constable told her they had found two more bodies inside the house, they appeared to be the boy's parents. It looked like she was going to be here for a while.

Julia had been at the morgue for over an hour and had done a preliminary external examination of the three deceased. She had just started her report when she heard the door open. Looking up she saw a handsome, well-dressed young man walking through the morgue. He took a quick glance at the three bodies as he passed, then ascended the steps to her office. Removing his hat he looked directly at her "Dr. Ogden?" he enquired. Julia shook the hand he offered. A bolt shot through her body like a static shock. "Det. Murdoch," he introduced himself. She couldn't quite find the words to answer. All she could do was nod. This was Det. Murdoch? He certainly didn't fit the picture she had painted from everything she'd been told. She had expected an older, gruff man much like the other detectives she'd met in the last week. Perhaps working in the morgue wasn't going to be so bad after all. "Have you examined the bodies Doctor?" the detective immediately got down to business. Well if that's the way it's going to be Julia thought… "I have done a preliminary external examination, Mr. and Mrs. Bowles were stabbed several times and the boy, as you know, hung himself. He did not do a very good job, he must have suffered." "That is what you get for murdering your parents." was the detective's reply. "That's a bit cold Detective." Julia offered. The detective just looked at her and raised an eyebrow. Hmm, maybe he wouldn't lighten things up after all. "Well Detective I am going to get back to my Sunday. I will finish the post mortems tomorrow and get the results to you as soon as I have finished." The detective looked surprised, "You are not going to finish them now Doctor?" "No, it _is_ Sunday and I have somewhere I need to be." Julia replied, despite the fact she really didn't have somewhere she needed to be. "I would appreciate it if you would finish them immediately Doctor, I would like to close the case as soon as possible." Really! What cheek! "I am afraid you will have to wait just like everyone else. I have two other post mortems to finish in the morning. I will finish these, she gestured in the direction of the bodies, as soon as I have done those. Good day." Julia dismissed him and set about putting the bodies in the cold storage. The detective however didn't leave. He came to help her move the gurneys. When they had done he turned to Julia, bowed his head slightly, said good day as he put on his hat and turned to leave. Julia was bewildered. She had never reacted to anyone's touch as she had to his. She really didn't know what to make of him. She was going to have to make some inquiries.

The next morning Julia finished the two outstanding post mortems then proceeded to the first of Det. Murdoch's murder victims. She had just finished the second one when Constable Crabtree entered. "Dr. Ogden, Det. Murdoch was wondering if you had completed the post mortems on the three bodies from yesterday? He is quite anxious to close the case." "Hello Constable Crabtree." Julia turned to face him, "I have finished the two stabbing victims, I am just about to start on the boy. It should not take too long, as I am fairly sure he died of suffocation. The rope was too short to sever the spinal column." Julia thought this was the ideal opportunity to ask a few questions about Det. Murdoch. "Constable…" she hesitated, perhaps this wasn't the right person, however she didn't know who else to ask. "Doctor?" "Have you worked with Det. Murdoch long?" "Since I started at the constabulary Doctor." The constable replied. "Is he always so…?" The constable smiled, "Earnest? Intense? Inflexible? Yes. But he is also brilliant and the best detective in the constabulary. He uses techniques that the other detectives do not even know about and his conviction record is second to none." "You look up to him Constable." It was a statement. "Yes, I hope to be a detective just like Det. Murdoch one day." "You are his right hand man?" "I am." the constable was proud to work for such an accomplished policeman. "It sounds like the constabulary is very important to him. Does he have a family?" Julia asked nonchalantly. "No Doctor, although he is engaged. Unfortunately his fiancée has just become ill with consumption so you will have to excuse him, he is not himself of late." "I see." replied Julia. She wasn't sure if she wanted to hear about a fiancée, she suddenly found herself somewhat put out. Now why would she have that reaction? "I am sorry to hear that. The prognosis is usually poor with consumption. I will take that into account when dealing with him in the future. I will bring the report to the stationhouse as soon as I have finished Constable."

It was now mid-afternoon and Julia entered Station House Four. This was the first time she had been here so she stopped and asked the desk sergeant where she would find Det. Murdoch's office. Following the directions she found herself at the detective's door. She hesitated before knocking. The door was open and Julia stood watching as Det. Murdoch sat at a worktable peering into a microscope. She stood admiring as he sat in vest and shirtsleeves and there was that electricity again. She was still staring when the detective looked up. "Doctor Ogden, please, come in." He stood and came around the table as he gestured for her to enter. She got a full view of him. He was certainly a fine figure of a man! She chastised herself, he was engaged after all … but to someone with consumption. She chastised herself again for such unseemly thoughts. "Good afternoon Det. Murdoch. As promised, the results of the post mortem on the Bowles family. There is nothing untoward to report. Mr. and Mrs. Bowles died of their wounds and the boy suffocated." Det. Murdoch took the report and glanced through it. "Thank you Doctor and I must apologize, I should not have presumed you would finish the post mortems yesterday. It was not that important in this case." "No need to apologize Detective." Now why did she say that? It was totally uncalled for to expect her to give up her Sunday for something that could wait. She turned to leave but the detective was still speaking. "… and I hope we will see each other again soon Doctor." Julia stammered, "Yes … soon…." and took her leave. She arrived back at the morgue and sat at her desk, utterly confused. Why was she behaving like this? She felt like a silly schoolgirl. She was an independent woman, she wasn't looking for a man. So why did she find herself so fixated on _this_ man? She had only met him yesterday and he hadn't even made a good impression. Why was she acting like this and more importantly, why did she feel this way?

xxxxxxx

Julia had now been working at the morgue for six months. She had seen Det. Murdoch a few times in the first month or two but the last months he seemed to always be at the morgue, even when he didn't have a case. She had discovered he read voraciously, mainly scientific and medical books. He talked about the latest inventions and scientific or medical discoveries and seemed to enjoy her company as she kept up her side of the conversation. It seemed he was also somewhat of an inventor, or maybe more of a tinkerer of current technology. She had to admit the man had a brilliant mind. She also discovered he was Catholic. Julia had met Catholics before of course, they had seemed quite normal to her. She could never understand why a person's religion would make them different. People seemed to get along with different political views so why not different religious views? One day he came in when she was doing a post mortem on a woman that had died in mysterious circumstances. As it turned out she had died of natural causes but the post mortem also revealed she had consumption. William, as she now called Det. Murdoch had stared at the woman for some time. Julia wasn't sure if she should say anything but finally decided to bring up his fiancée. She asked how Liza was fairing. It seemed she wasn't getting any better and William visibly shrank as he talked of her deterioration. It was obvious he loved her deeply. Julia wished she hadn't said anything. She now realized that she had desires, no, she preferred to think of them as 'feelings', for William and that those 'feelings' would never be reciprocated. She would have to content herself with his friendship.

xxxxxxx

Liza had died, William was inconsolable and Julia didn't know what to say to ease his pain. He wouldn't take time off work to mourn and he just moped around when he was at work. It was getting to the point where Inspector Brackenreid was going to relieve him of his duties. Then one day he came into the morgue and everything seemed fine again. Julia doubted he'd got over his loss but somehow he had come to terms with it. It was as if he had filed it away and closed the drawer. He was back to his normal self and once again making small talk such as it was. Julia now wondered if once he was over his grief if he would perhaps aim his attention in her direction. She wouldn't push it at least for now but maybe in a month or two she could start giving out signals….

Well the signals didn't work, it seemed he was totally oblivious … or just didn't know how to read them. How on earth could she get this man to look at her as anything other than a colleague? She had started making the odd humourous quip but that seemed to be falling on deaf ears. He seemed to have no sense of humour at all. What on earth was she seeing in him? But it wasn't so much what she saw in him so much as how she _felt_ when he was around. She couldn't explain it. At times he infuriated her, others she was confounded by him, but no matter what she thought about him the slightest touch or look would produce that electrical effect. However, he still seemed oblivious to her charms. She began to wonder how on earth did Liza woo this man? Did Liza have something that she didn't? Perhaps he just wasn't interested in another woman. Maybe he just wasn't interested in her….

Xxxxxxx

William had applied for the inspector's position at Station House Three! Of course that didn't mean she wouldn't see him at all but it would certainly mean she would see a lot less of him. She felt as though she was losing him. That was silly, how could she lose someone she didn't have! Although … he did bring that picnic to the park when they went to see the electrical demonstration, not that that led to much. It was just her luck that someone had died and put an end to what could have been an interesting day. She was going to see him with her report on the Iyott remains, perhaps she could suggest they reschedule their picnic.

The odour in William's office was overwhelming, whatever was he doing? He said something had died in the walls but it would have to be a rather large something to smell this badly. He led her out of the office where the air was fresher. She gave him the report and told him of the results of her examination. She was about to leave but felt she needed to say something. She turned to William,

" _So is it true?"_ she asked.

" _Is what true?"_

She was quite uncomfortable asking but needed to know. _"That you applied for a new position."_

" _Yes."_ was all he said.

Now she was really nervous and found she couldn't meet his gaze. _"Well, I-I would be sorry to see you leave."_ She couldn't quite face him again but managed a quick look back as she turned to leave. What must he think of her? Damn it! She forgot to mention the picnic!

xxxxxxx

Several months had gone by and Julia felt she was making some headway with William. They had been good friends for over a year now and had even 'walked out' a few times in the last few months. She loved his company and stimulating conversation but most of all she loved that feeling in the pit of her stomach every time she saw him. It had been there from the first time they met when that bolt of electricity ran through her.

Julia's younger sister Ruby had turned up on stage when she had accompanied William and the Inspector to a show by The Houdini Brothers. Whilst it was good to see Ruby it didn't take long for her to try and get her hands on something Julia coveted … again. Ruby always seemed to get what she wanted but this time Julia was not going to give in. She was NOT going to get William! It would seem Ruby told William about Julia's arrest. What would he think of her? Then he invited her to dinner to go over a case with her, about a young swimmer's disregard for clothing. How could she refuse?

Once again William invited her to dinner. They had a picnic in the park. After a stroll they returned to their picnic spot. He asked how she would feel about an experiment and produced a bottle of absinthe from the picnic basket. Julia was surprised as she had never known William to drink. It seems he did, but only on special occasions - and this was one! Over the evening they worked their way through several glasses. William became more unreserved with each glass, laughing and joking, Julia had never seen him like this before. She was thoroughly enjoying his company. He was a completely different man. He suddenly stopped laughing and announced his disappointment, _"not one green fairy!"_ Julia placed her hand around his neck. William leaned in, she hesitated a split second then she too leaned in and kissed him. It was a brief but sweet and tender kiss. Once again the static shot through her body. When will this sensation stop? It had been three years now and he still had the same effect on her.

There was a hidden passion in this man that she would never have known existed. The one kiss led to more. She undid his vest, removed his tie and undid a couple of shirt buttons before he lay her down and started placing kisses all over her face, neck and lips. But things were starting to get out of hand. She now knew why he didn't drink. It clearly didn't take much to affect his judgement … not that she was complaining! She would have loved him to satisfy that ache deep inside her but her conscience wouldn't allow him to do something that he may regret in the sober light of day.

xxxxxxx

Now here _she_ was in the sober light of day, staring out at the sterile room. She had had him exactly where she wanted him. He was going to do exactly what she knew she had wanted since the moment she met him and she'd let the moment slip away. The frustrations were not going to go away. She needed him. _Oh how she needed him!_ What could she do to relieve these stirrings? She must plan her next move….


End file.
